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What IS a soulmate?

That is a f@4k of a lot of expectation to put on someone, that’s what it is.

And it seems we are all looking for ours now.

And the last time I checked there was really NO way to know for certain if this person was sent here by the spirits above to be your one and only mate for all of time.

And yet that’s what we keep waiting for.  This “soulmate” that someone like Tom Cruise so infamously said “completes us.”

Does this sound like a load of horse shit created by someone who can sell a lot of stuff by people buying into it to anyone else?

And mind you.  I’m in a really beautiful relationship…have been in many wonderful relationships in my life…but if I had to hold out hope that this one is my soul-mate…I just feel like I would be putting a question out there that can’t be answered and be totally disappointed at every turn.

Not to mention, does that mean I made mistakes all along the way with my choices?

OH, you can’t read my mind, you must not be my soul-mate.

Oh, we actually disagree about things, you must not be my soul-mate.

Oh you like to lean your head to the left when we kiss and so do I, you must not be my soul-mate.

I bring this up because someone recently asked me if my partner was my soul-mate, and I just looked at them with this face that I hope read, are you completely out of your mind right now?

I know I write a lot of woo-woo posts, and so you think I would be the first person on board with this soul-mate concept, but I have been living in this human incarnation for 40 years and let me tell you this.  Every person I come in contact with has a lesson to teach me.

Every person I enter into relationship with: Either physical or non-physical, changes me in some way.

And if that isn’t giving me a soul part…then I don’t know what is.  If that isn’t a “soul mate” then who is?

How can there be just one?

I fall in love with 30 people a day.


I see someone doing something beautiful and I’m in love.

Someone can hold with me in a great round of banter and I’m in love!

Someone bakes me something…well, I mean at a store…and I buy it…and I sink into the doughy buttery-ness of it…and let me tell you, I’m in love.

Folks, Goat Butter…Seriously in love.

Trees!  LoVe!

Blooming flowers!!!!  Holy cow am I in Love!

Clearly it’s a different type of love then I share with my intimate friends.  But since I am not moved by all people, I am left to assume that the ones that move me are soul-parts, soul-mates, soul-friends.

Why would I want just one?

Doesn’t that seem at all limiting to you?

I feel better.  I think you agree.

Let me be honest.  There was a period in my life, after my divorce, where I wrote a list of EXACTLY who MY GUY was and put it on my altar.  And there it sat.  And after a date I would open it up and see if they were “my list.”  And you know what?  They weren’t.

Even if they were missing like 2 of the 50 things I would say…but I couldn’t live without someone making me laugh!

Did I give them a chance to make me laugh?  Probably not.

And when I threw my list away and dated for the sake of meeting fellow human beings looking for love…I started finding that perhaps what I thought I wanted wasn’t even true.  And that what I wanted and craved was human connection.  And even the coffee breaks with strangers filled my soul with a fullness that was SO much more then sitting and staring at my list of “who my soul mate is.”

So all this is to say.  I think that hollywood and the Secret and other folks trying to sell you a miracle cure and ageless tonics made out of snake oil…are distracting you from the truth that love is everywhere….and the more chances you take loving others and the more opportunity you give people to love you back…the closer you will find yourself with the romantic love you desire.

So perhaps stop limiting yourself to the idea of just one soulmate…and see what you catch when experiencing life to it’s fullest!  Find love in a glance, in a conversation, in goat butter.

It makes life super shiney!

From one of your soulmates…..sending you oodles and oodles of love….you had me at Hello.




  1. Fiona says:

    I love this! Wow you are a great writer but this my dear is one of your finest. Your last line totally filled me with love 😉 yep even me! Thank you.

    • admin says:

      I agree….this is one of my favorite blog posts…but then…I think I say that about most of them 🙂 And baby…you are totally over brimming with love!

  2. LB says:

    Hi Elisha!

    I’m Jess’s little sister and am so happy I found your blog through her! This post is beautiful. I love the concept of everyone having the ability to be your soul mate through their giving parts of their own souls to you within everyday encounters. Simply beautiful! I can’t wait to share you blog on mine! 🙂


    • admin says:

      Thanks Lauren! Share away! And I agree…it makes life seem so much richer when you get to collect soul mates throughout the day!

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