I know you do….seriously…how excited for this post are you? I bet you think I’m going to tell you the secret that makes every question you’ve ever had answered with intelligence and wit and a little classy flair…

Sorry. Suck on it. That is not even close to what I’m about to do.

Want to know the secret? Want to know if you are on the right track?

If you are miserable because “he’s doing this” or “she’s doing that.” Then my friends, with 100% certainty I can tell you…you are in exactly the right place.

What am I talking about?

Relationship is about more than sex, and having someone to go to the movies and out to dinner with. It’s about working stuff out. Hard stuff. It’s about going deep inside and seeing when “he’s doing this” what it really means about who you are.

Let me give an example. I have a friend…let’s call her Porsche…and she’s in a long distance relationship with a man. Now Porsche in the past allowed her boyfriends to rule her existence. She followed them. Bent to their wishes. And most importantly, never EVER asked for what she wanted.

Skip forward to this relationship where she has decided to grow a pair. And this commitment she has to keeping her energy clear…well…it causes her major distress and she constantly wants out of it.

And I always listen as she tells me what this guy said, or did…and I remind her that the reality of this situation is that she needs to ask for what she needs. That this relationship is the growth tool that forces her to evaluate HER needs and Wants and DESIRES and ask for them with confidence and grace.

She grunts and groans, and knows I’m right, and in the end…leans into the discomfort and says what she needs to say, and finds he is totally receptive and that angst, that need to break it off is gone and peace and unicorns are restored to the valley landscape.

So…that was a jumbled and rambling attempt to address the following. If it’s scary or uncomfortable to lean into…it’s the right thing to do. And though the beginning may feel like crap…the end feels like a million bucks.

So, does Porsche find it any easier to confront long distance man after all her successes? No. And that is great! It means she is clear how much more work she has to do to make her soul feel heard and safe.

So, in conclusion, my relationship advice is more and more and more communication…specifically leaning into those areas that are scary or icky or cause a general sense of anxiety.

Need some extra help making that happen…? I believe that’s where I come in. To schedule an appointment to settle your soul and awaken clarity…you’re just a short email or phone call away!

Good luck to you…discovering you in all the ways you long for brilliance!