You know when you have one of those ephiphanies that is like nectar from the gods? The kind of insight you have had hundreds of times but it only in this particular moment made sense?
So I’m in a time and space riddled with more stress than any human in the developed world whose in any level of middle class living should have. (Let’s face it…our stress is really nothing comparatively, but I’m not trying to compare, so I’ll continue.) I have eight seemingly impossible situations happening at the same time AND I’m laid up in bed and can’t deal with a god damn one of them like I’d like to.
So I’m laying in bed this morning…that blissful time and space where the sun is shining in the window, the breeze is like a kiss on the cheek and my mind hasn’t started making plans for every possible direction, thought, re-direction and so on that it’s about to kick in.
And I say out loud to no one specifically….
“What if I just let what was going to unfold, unfold…without the stress? What if the stress is just a drama adding negative Ju-Ju to all the wonderful things I’m trying to put in play? Since what’s going to happen is already going to happen, whether i stress about this shit or not…why not just go about my bidness WITHOUT stressing out about it?”
And I said to myself, “Holy crap…can we do that?”
And I thought about it. What would that entail? How can I not attach to this need to freak out about what’s going to happen…since I don’t even, can’t even, couldn’t possibly know what that’s going to be?
So I tried it today. And every time someone tried to get me to buy into the drama of the stress of my situation…I said…I actually don’t want to talk about that, it’s just going to work out.
And I’ll tell you what…I urged every little fiber in my heart to believe that.
So here I am. End-ish of day 1 of my experiment to not allow myself to get my heart all twitter-pated (in the bad anxiety way) and didn’t let my mind wander to the end of the earth by simply breathing and then starting to do something else. And truthfully, I’m freaking exhausted. But…I don’t feel nearly as stressed 🙂
I think being my own watchdog is a bitch of a job! But let’s be real, who else can get inside my bean and make the cogs slow other than me?
So I’ll keep you posted….I assume like all things in life, with practice and direction, we can get as far as we want!
So here’s to a life without the tight reign of that evil mother stress. To just living and being present and enjoying those around us and staying focused on the important stuff without making it more than it is….
How does that sound?
Freaking amazing, right?