I’m in a free fall.
Not the fun part. Not that part yet where you have given into the enormity of gravity and sink into the unfolding around you. But that part where life and land and air are rushing around with you with the untamed nature of a beast and you are still trying to get away…to find your steps….to gather your resources and reply with the grace and surety that you have built your life accumulating.
Anyone? Or is it just me?
Is Panic sitting across from you just watching to see when you will give in?
Is the sheer overwhelm about to sink you?
Are you wondering exactly what you should be doing, only to feel there is something huge you have forgotten? Something that you just can’t figure out?
Am I alone in this?
I really don’t think so as I’m usually feeling what you all are slinging. And I’m NOT digging this at all.
Honestly, If I had a Xanax I think I’d take it.
So enough Elisha…what do we do? How to we pull ourselves out of this free fall?
That’s just the thing my dear sweet friends. We can’t. There is only through. There is only breath and presence and doing the best you can. And letting go of the overwhelm in whatever way serves you. Take a walk. Watch the trees in the wind. Play poker. Have a good cry. Get Acupuncture from someone who knows how to listen to you and be supportive. Take a really hot fabulous bath or shower.
And then my loves, we have to come back to breath. We have to breathe our way through this.
But when I say there is no way but through I hope you know what I mean. I mean we have to make a plan for all those stressors and get through them. We have to look all those challenges in the face and roar back. We have to (in my case take an accounting class) take the steps that move us ever forward down this (what feels like) stalled and pot holed road.
One step at a time.
Turn off social media and frankly the news too.
Find some nature, even a house plant and just look at it and breathe.
Breathe some more.
Ask for help.
Dig in to the thing you can’t look at, and look at it..and yes……BREATHE
You will find a way to make it through. You always have.
But let your breathe be your guide.
And when the panic surges…and it will…over and over again….imagine yourself on a calm river. Imagine yourself floating in the cool water, the sun overhead, birds singing in the trees. Imagine that sensation of floating, of being weightless, of letting the water move you….and allow that to be your free fall. Let that ease be your guide. Let that ease generate your breath.
And then make a plan.
Take a step.
Go through it…and then my dear sweet ones…you are on the other side.
I haven’t made it there yet so i can’t tell you what you’ll find. But I know one thing….it’s gonna feel a helluva lot better than this.